ME and MY BOSS !!

                ME and MY BOSS !!

When I Take a long time to finish,
I Am Slow, (and stupid and unconcerned and lazy and slow and stupid and incompetent and....)

When my boss takes a long time,

He Is Thorough (and he has an eye for detail and he plans and hes not an hr guy but a business guy and basically hes god...and you are stupid)

When I don't do it,
I Am Lazy, (refer to point 1 regarding what else you are...)

When my boss does not do it,

He Is Busy, (because the ministry wants him, dg wants him, other departments want him and he has a zillion other projects to do and revenue to earn)

When I do something without being
told,

I Am Trying To Be Smart, (over smart...jumping protocol...disobeying orders...forgetting the pecking order etc etc etc)

When my boss does the same,

He Takes The Initiative, (taking initiative in a time when he is being pulled into so many internal...external...nocturnal...fuckturnal...)

When I please my boss,

I am apple polishing,(you arent capable of polishing any apple or orange...incase you are under this illusion that you can please refer to points 1,2,3...regarding you)

When my boss pleases his boss,

He is cooperating, (even if hes standing outside the loo waiting to dig his tongue into his boss's butt crack...thats a form of cooperation too you know...no wait how would you know...you are stupid!)

When I make a mistake,

I Am An Idiot. (and stupid and lazy and...uff tumari taareef kya karu main ab please refer to points 1,2,3...and others to know more)

When my boss makes a mistake,

He's Only Human. (humans come in many forms these day...they look like buffaloes...dogs...pigs...and basically any other imaginable animal who's face looks worse than a hairy mans ass but how would you know...you are stupid)

When I am out of the office,

I Am Wondering Around. (and taking hour long lunch breaks in khan market...kitna khayegi...phatt jayegi ek din kha kha ke)

When my boss is out of the office,

He's On Business. (meeting with ministers...the pm...the president...the king of spain...and every other imaginable dignitary)

When I am on a day off sick,

I Am Always Sick. (and stupid and lazy and etc etc - just keep refering to the points mentioned earlier...but your boss is damn concerned hey...so concerned he'll come over  with chicken soup and a get well soon card)

When my boss is a day off sick,

He Must Be Very Ill. (with a broken back and insomnia and mental disorder and stomach disorder and every other disorder ever known to man kind...because he works so hard...his brain slipped down to his back and then he broke it)

When I apply for leave,

I Must Be Going For An Interview. (or just being lazy...and incompetent...and ...blah just keep refering to the first few points ok)

When my boss applies for leave,

It's Because He's Overworked (and very ill...go back to the point where hes very ill)

When I do good,

My Boss Never Remembers, (all the while claiming that he was born with mega memory and he still remembers what pornographic image was etched on his desk when he was in kg class)

When I do wrong,

He Never Forgets (never forgets to bring it up to spice up his already useless conversations to make em sound funny whilst actually making himself sound rather stupid)

Such is life :)